The Day I Met You

It was a normal Wednesday afternoon, I was at work when I got the call... "We have a baby for you"
I asked her to repeat it because surely I heard her wrong.  Again she said "We have a baby for you" she said it with a chuckle because I'm sure she heard the doubt in my voice.  Without letting her talk the questions exploded out of my mouth...."Where, When, What do I do, Is it a boy or girl?"  All she could tell me at that moment was that it was a boy and he was being released from the hospital.  She instructed me to meet her at the Hospital the next day and she would fill me in on the details.

I hung up the phone and just fell back into my chair at my desk, at first in shock.  I replayed in my head what had just been said to assure myself it was not a dream.  Then I cried.  Was this it, was this really the call I've been waiting for?

My husband Terry and I had finished and graduated from the parenting classes to become Certified Foster/Adoptive Parents the previous July 2012, passed our home inspection in January 2013 and was told to just wait for the call.  Here it is March 27, 2013 and it is now time to act.

After the call I told my husband first then everyone else I could think of.  I was as excited as if I had just found out I was pregnant and going into labor all at the same time.  I couldn't sleep that night, I tossed and turned.  Terry had to work the next day so I brought my mom with me to the hospital.

Although this was the moment we had prayed for, planned for, dreamed of ....little did we know or understand the emotional rollercoaster we were about to board on to.  Some that are close to us will claim that they endured the same stress and emotions as us but that is so far from the truth.  No one can truly understand the process unless you actually walk the path yourself as a Foster/Adoptive Parent.  Even though we were opening our home and heart to this precious little boy, we had no clue how long he would be with us.  Would it be a couple weeks, a couple months....forever?  But that day none of that mattered.  It only mattered that my dream was coming true, even if for a short little while.

I arrived at the hospital and my stomach was in knots, I felt like I might vomit at any moment but was so happy at the same time.  The case worker came to meet my mom and I in the waiting area and as she led us up the elevator she started to explain Benjamin's situation.  Ben was born addicted to drugs on January 29, 2013 and had remained in NICU (Newborn Intensive Care Unit) the entire first 2 months of his life to wean him off the drugs.  Before entering I had to scrub down and put all the medical garb on.... gown, cap, gloves, face mask.  As we entered I could hear loud screaming and the nurse motioned me his direction.  There were several babies in there but I soon learned the screeching sound was coming from only Benjamin.  The nurse began to explain as he showed me how to calm little Ben.  Even though his method was correct it was not working.  He gently picked Ben up and placed him in my arms.  I felt weak in the knees and faint.  I actually thought to myself "What have I gotten myself into?"  All this was happening so fast and I didn't know what to do.  The original plan was to take him home that night but the nurse offered for me to stay the night in one of the guest rooms with Ben in the room with me.  What a relief!!!  That way if I had any questions or concerns the nurse would just be down the hall.



This was the very first picture I took of my little Ben.  I fell in love that day.  I was so thankful for the kind nurse that helped me that night.  I don't remember his name but I'll never forget his kindness.  As we were preparing to leave the next morning the nurse came in to say goodbye to Ben.  He held him, kissed his forehead and I think I saw a tear as he handed him back to me and said "Thank you Momma"  Of course I teared up as well.  That was the very first time someone called me Momma.  My life will never be the same and I thank God every day for my little miracle.

There's so much more to this story so tune in next time.  God Bless!

The Time Has Come

We have waited 1,328 days for this day.  Well, to be honest I have waited my whole life for this day.  But tomorrow on November 15, 2016 Benjamin will officially become our Forever Son.  I truly believe that God ordained from the beginning of time not only for Terry and I to be married but also for Ben to be our son.  God has orchestrated every detail from the beginning until now, even the details we never noticed.  My heart is overwhelmed by all of the details that flood through my mind that I can hardly contain it.  It is so hard to put into words what I feel God has revealed to me through this journey.  I don't know if anyone else notices but I know I have changed for the better.  I have seen God's power through it all and I have witnessed His love and compassion in a way that I never knew existed before Ben entered my life.  I look into his big brown eyes and I truly see God's love.

I'm not one to show my heart on my face, I share my heart through close friendships.  So to look at me you may think this is just another average day.  But please let me enlighten you that this day has taken a lifetime to travel to and a whole lot of heartache along the way.  So tomorrow as you go about your regularly scheduled day know that for me tomorrow marks the proof that prayer avails much!!!

 



 God has made us a family and no one can ever take that away.  We have fought for this little boy.  We chose him.  He didn't just end up here, he was meant to be here. And I will strive to be the best mom I can be for him.  I know I will fail, that's inevitable.  But with God's guidance we will train him up to be the best he can be.  We vow to raise him to love the Lord our God with all of his heart, soul and mind.  And we trust God will guide him through his life in the path he should take.

Tomorrow is a new day and he deserves a new name for his new start.  So for the first time I will publicly announce and introduce to you.........................................

BENJAMIN PAUL HEAD



 

Until next time I pray God keeps you safe and blesses you!

The Time Has Come

We have waited 1,328 days for this day.  Well, to be honest I have waited my whole life for this day.  But tomorrow on November 15, 2016 Benjamin will officially become our Forever Son.  I truly believe that God ordained from the beginning of time not only for Terry and I to be married but also for Ben to be our son.  God has orchestrated every detail from the beginning until now, even the details we never noticed.  My heart is overwhelmed by all of the details that flood through my mind that I can hardly contain it.  It is so hard to put into words what I feel God has revealed to me through this journey.  I don't know if anyone else notices but I know I have changed for the better.  I have seen God's power through it all and I have witnessed His love and compassion in a way that I never knew existed before Ben entered my life.  I look into his big brown eyes and I truly see God's love.

I'm not one to show my heart on my face, I share my heart through close friendships.  So to look at me you may think this is just another average day.  But please let me enlighten you that this day has taken a lifetime to travel to and a whole lot of heartache along the way.  So tomorrow as you go about your regularly scheduled day know that for me tomorrow marks the proof that prayer avails much!!!

 



 God has made us a family and no one can ever take that away.  We have fought for this little boy.  We chose him.  He didn't just end up here, he was meant to be here. And I will strive to be the best mom I can be for him.  I know I will fail, that's inevitable.  But with God's guidance we will train him up to be the best he can be.  We vow to raise him to love the Lord our God with all of his heart, soul and mind.  And we trust God will guide him through his life in the path he should take.

Tomorrow is a new day and he deserves a new name for his new start.  So for the first time I will publicly announce and introduce to you.........................................

BENJAMIN PAUL HEAD



 

Until next time I pray God keeps you safe and blesses you!

God's Plan from the Beginning

Most females dream of having a family from a very young age, they even pick out their children's names even before they have found their husband.  Although I've always wanted a husband and children I was never one to pick out my kids names a head of time.  Terry and I were married in 2004 after about 4 years of marriage (2008) with no kids in sight God gave me a name.  I was in the habit of watching Joyce Meyer and Creflo Dollar (both Christian Evangelists) while getting ready for work.

This one particular morning Joyce was preaching about our Destiny for our lives.  Although I can not quote anything that she said I do remember getting very emotional because it spoke to my heart.  Then after she went off and Creflo began to preach he spoke about God's Grace.  By the time both Joyce and Creflo had finished their preaching I was broken and I wept.

It was as if God had spoken to me in an audible voice and said "You will have a child and that child will be named Destiny Grace".  So obviously I believed the normal thing anyone else would think.  That I would get pregnant, give birth to a girl and name her Destiny Grace.

Little did I know that God had a very different plan, one that I could never dream of imagining.  You see God always has a plan for our lives and His plan is always better than what we could think of.  But as humans living in flesh we assume that our lives will follow the expected path.  But what's the fun in that, LOL!

Anyway, because of this revelation I went out and bought a charm necklace with the name Destiny Grace on it and hung it from my rearview mirror in my car as a daily reminder of the promise God had made to me.  It was not easy because as time passed, pregnancy never happened for us and seeing that reminder everyday that once started as a joyous thing, over time became a painful reminder.  It began to make me think that God had forgotten me or maybe I misinterpreted what He said.  I started to doubt the word from the Lord that I would have a child named Destiny Grace.

Years passed and I left the necklace hanging up in my car.  I didn't want to take it down because a part of me still believed but a part of me was too pained to acknowledge it so I learned to ignore it.

I'm going to skip over a lot and come back to details in later posts but Terry and I became certified Foster/Adoptive parents in January 2013.  That same month my mom and I went on a cruise together, we boarded the Carnival Ship named "Destiny" on January 29, 2013.  I did think the name of the ship was a perfect fit but didn't think any more about it.

Time passed and Ben came to our home as our first placement and we was unsure if he would stay with us or be sent back to his birth family.  We literally lived one day at a time. It wasn't until August 2015 that we were informed that there was a really good possibility that we would be able to keep him.  It was then that I finally got a peace from God that he would be our forever son.

One day while I was having a little quiet time with God I heard His voice again and it hit me like a ton of bricks.  I thought back to the day that my mom and I boarded that ship named Destiny, that was the day Ben was born!!! That was a detail that God used to prove to me that He has always been in control even when I was begging and pleading for a child, God remembered me.  It was that day that God revealed to me that it was never about getting pregnant and giving birth to a girl and naming her Destiny Grace....Ben is our Destiny and because of God's Grace we are his parents.

Be blessed and see ya next time!

Here it Goes...

Hello world! Here I am writing a blog, YIKES!.... I really have no clue what I am doing and that's ok.  Just bear with me while I figure this thing out.  I have desired for a while now to share my story, my heart, my journey but have stumbled on how to do it.  I have so many friends that have encouraged me to tell my story but looking at the big picture it was so overwhelming and I could never decide where or how to start. I had first contacted my niece Faith to help me because she is an English teacher and an excellent writer and she was thrilled to help but I think I have decided that writing a little bit of my story at a time, at my own pace and in my own words would be the best route.  So this blog will be just that.  To start I'll tell you just a little about myself and will dive deeper in future posts.  My name is Alice and am married to Terry for 12 years...actually we'll make 12 years next month.  We have one child and two dogs.  I am a Christian and firmly believe in sharing God's love anyway I can.  I feel that God's love has nothing to do with rules and regulations but more to do with showing kindness and understanding.  I love my family and friends and strive every day to be a better person than I was the day before.  I know God has great plans for me and my family, He has blessed us with so much.  We are not rich in the worlds eyes by no means but we are overflowing with love, laughter and joy....in my opinion that makes us rich.

So until next time I pray that God blesses you.  See ya soon!